Today my aunt phoned to say congratulations on getting my degree and congratulated my hard efforts as she knew it's been hard for me. Especially at school when i struggled a lot. That aside we were talking about my Canada trip and moved onto marriage and it was a funny nice conversation then we moved onto the independence one has before they get married and she was telling me that this was the time to do whatever i could and that i shouldn't feel the 'peer pressure' to settle down. She was telling me that at 21 she felt pressured to marry and did and her dreams of wanting to travel the world and her thoughts of how she may do that when she married but how life changed. I told her about how i felt about all my friends jumping into that area and how it made me feel outbalanced and how i felt like i was being portrayed as the 'frivolous one' in the group when she said what i kind of knew already that there was time to do all that. (Marriage, flat,mortgage, 'proper job') she went on to say that independence was important and the importance of being in a situation where you can depend on yourself and not have to rely on your 'husband' to do things, make payments, buy a house, career effects. Relationships would form and trust and commitment would come with time and i would know when the right time was. This was the time to do what i wanted because things change and may not get the same chance.
It's ironic really because i do know this, and i know that there is time before you can settle down and there is nothing wrong with doing something different but when everyone you know is doing what's perceived as the 'normal' thing it makes you wonder. It was a nice conversation, a heart-to-heart in a way, i always feel comfortable talking to her and sometimes we talk about things that make sense and even her husband, my uncle, i find it nice to talk to him as well about the 'out of the box'' ideas i want to do, more so than my parents. My parents are pretty open minded as far as an Indian family go but sometimes i find it hard to tell them things, just not that comfortable. I do but sometimes it's different talking to my aunt.
So anyway, i realised, am trying to realise (i know it deep down) that what i am doing is ok, and who cares what other people think, so what if i want to go off to Canada and have an adventure, whats so wrong about that. Just because most Indian girls have never done that or dared or wanted doesn't mean i can't. I am going and i will prove to myself and to my parents, and family that it was and will be the best thing for my career and life in the future.
Thank you to my Aunt who sometimes says those little things which impact me in the biggest way possible. Love to her! x
