Fallacious

Current plan:
Trying to find some temp work so I can save up the cash to apply for the canada work permit again and pay for the flight and insurance there. So far the job thing isn't going too well. Im trying to stay optimistic until i find the destiny of plan A

Plan A:
1 month till I find out my fate of going back to Toronto. (Dec , im waiting for you to roll on right by and make my dreams come true)

Im just waiting to know so I can e-mail my manager at the bank over there and tell her Im coming back so she can offer me a job. Appranntly she really likes me and i think that the job i was doing I would have got offered a permanant contract, damn my visa running out just before I could get to that stage. But Iv been told on several occasions to get in touch once I get this permit so as soon as i Know she is the first person I'll be e-mailing.

Plan B
I'm thinking that If i don't get this visa then I'm going to India for 12 weeks and volunteer. (Anything to avoid sliiping into the traditional job, car, flat, mortage routine)

I'd rather not stay in Edinburgh, because it just sucks. For me anyway, it doesnt have the same appeal it did when i was at uni here. So i think my back up would be to try this volunteer thing. ( It's so not going to be good for my bank balance) so i think Im going to also have to come up with a plan C

Plan C
Traditional job thing but that means that It's gunna be hard to do anything else because ultimatly i reckon once i get on that route that's going to be it. Maybe trying to find a stable job will be good in terms of money and stability.

I really wonder what will happen!

Last night i dreamt of a guitar!!

I dreamt i was holding one and attempting to play it and breaking a string or two and then asking someone , i can't recall if it was a man or woman if what i was doing was right.

I walk into costco this afternoon and i see a GUITAR!!
It's like this instrument is haunting me.

So I looked it up on dream dictionary and here's the interpretation:

To see or play a guitar in your dream, represents passion and emotion.
It also relates to sexual connotations and may signal an erotic or sensual dream.

um OK!! not the sort of sexual/erotic/sensual dream I had imagined!

..i've come back from Toronto iv been highly addicted to :

1. Lucozade
2. Chocolate
3. Kettle chips

I don't really know why! hmmm

http://raceandscience.channel4.com/

Im loving these new programes on channel 4. It's so shocking and controversial.

Im watching How racist are you? the other night i watched the series on Bleach, nip and tuck which i found sad, esp seeing the preview for the second one where people are going through surgery to look like the common 'white' person.

Very controversial!

I was in the heart of downown Toronto, in my swanky ( to my then standards) apartment, moments way from the ever famous Eaton Centre (where my future office was), a chineese resturant (actually 4 surround the blocks) a cosy starbucks open till 11pm and in a basking view of the city lit up and the CN Tower glowing away and two pretty cool ladies who shared the place with me.

Fast forward to this time present day,
Im in Edinburgh, away from any sort of city lights, nothings open, in my old bedroom, watching shitty tv, on msn, feeling lost because this is the life i was craving to get away from when i was at uni.

I dont  think im fully reay to go back to Toronto just yet, It was fate my application didnt work out while i was there , hence coming back to figure out what i really wanted. I think i want to go back but i need this time to find something to do. Yet another day of job searches. A woman from  an agency called me up enquiring about my CV she found online and wanted to know what i was looking for.  Got a reply from one of the temp jobs i applied for saying they have already filled the vacancy. Great, another round of endless cover letters shall be sent out tmrw.

The whole job hunt agian is just depressing. Somehow being in Canada last year and going through the same thing didnt feel as bad as now. Axtually it sorta did because i had to pay for rent etc but i think i was more optimistic than i am right now.

I'm just craving my life, my job and my downtown T.O apartment back!! (minus the psycho roomates!)

Since iv totally forgotten to write in here for a whole year!

Canada was a dream, now I'm back in shitty UK and everything i do reminds me of Toronto.
I also reaslied that I had written NOTHING about being away for a year, shows just how much of a good time and busy life i had.

Back at the parents house. It's sorta werid. Looking for a job which is tedious but there you go. I want to go back to Canada and December will be that month where it will be the final deciding factor if i get the work permit.

So whilst i wait for Dec to roll on by and determin my fate, I shall make an concious effort to update this.
Since i have notihng better to do.( apart from finding a temp job and going to the gym like a man woman!)

Time for some coffee!

This is just as the henna was set.
And below is once it was washed off! Acutally darker in real life though!

Read this just a few mins ago on MSN News!
Found it quite funny and a lil harsh for the girl who was taking the test!
What has the world come to!

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=9526187

My last day at work was BUSY!!! End of the month (typical i picked the busiest day to leave) was non stop work that day! At the end i got a Good Luck card from the group with a £25 HMV gift voucher! (was surprised). Ultimately the girl who doesn't like me went and brought me the card! lol Ironic really, I hardly speak to her because she never really seemed to care to speak to me! Anyway, we went for a drink after work, didn't get out till 5.15pm which is ridiculous as we shut at 4pm! But never mind, was 5 of us and it was alright. Realised that everyone feels the same way as me about work, i.e.hate it and don't feel appreciated etc. It was quite ironic hearing people who i see skive every week say the bank wouldn't be anything without them! (Yeh if they did any work it may) regardless...
Im just glad to be out of there, its somewhat sad but not really. Spent 2 hours listening to fellow colleagues slagging off the new manager and what not. Interesting i must say. Im not one to bitch with work people because they all talk about each other. Risky business but i was kind of surprised how much the part-timers and some of the full time staff despise the new manager and the whole branch environment.

All i have to say is this was the time for me to leave. So glad. It's about 16 days now till i fly off! Excited and lil scared!